French for dummies

Wouldn't it be great if you could learn a language by osmosis? That somehow, purely by being in a place, you could absorb foreign words through your pores? As you slept the words would seep into your skin until you were dreaming in another language... If only...

Alas, just being in France has not resulted in me being able to speak French. After 3 days here I am no better than I was a week ago. Yesterday I was able to order various pastries at the boulangerie fairly well (aided by the universal language of pointing and holding up the number of croissant required using my fingers). I came unstuck when I had to ask for pan sans glutain (gluten free bread). They didn't have any, it seemed, and the instructions where I might obtain some were a little trop rapide (too fast) for me to comprendre.

So it seems that like anything worth achieving, learning a language takes effort. That is unless you are a typical 4 year old, who is experiencing advanced prefrontal cortex development. Apparently when this area of the brain develops, children are more easily about to control what language or symbol to attribute to an idea. * Lucky little buggers.

Tragically, I did actually study French at school for 8 years. It was compulsory from prep to year 8. I was even quite good at some point, getting into the finals at the Alliance Francais speaking competition where I recited a poem by Paul Eluard. I abandoned the French language in year 9 in rebellion against my then teacher Mr Dowling. What can I say? I was tired of irregular verbs and singing of the many changing colours of Leon le chameleon. 

Somehow despite my years of compulsory French education, I know more French from listening to the band Art Vs Science (S'il vous plait ma cherie aller tomber la chemise!) and Christina Aguilera (voulez vous coucher avec moi).

In the week before I left to go on my trip I hastily scrubbed up my Francais by listening to Michelle Thomas audio lessons. I was intrigued by the concept of no study, no memorisation, no homework! It sounded effortless to me so I gave it a go. The lessons are really very good, but my plan of listening to all 8 hours of lessons twice over before I left fell by the wayside. Despite my lack of effort I found the lessons very useful and would recommend them to anyone. 

Fortunately around 60% of English words are French. You just need to change the endings and the pronunciation. Par example:

Words in English ending with -ible and -able are the same in French.

possible à possible

table à table

Words in English ending in -ent and -ant come from French. They have the same spelling and the same meaning.

different àdifférent

importantà important

Words in English ending in -ary become -aire in French.

necessary à nécessaire

Voila! You can now speak French.

*Language acquisition of children, http://www.helium.com/items/365752-childrens-ability-to-learn-language, May 30 2007