Has it really been ten years?

A high school reunion brings on a bout of reminiscing...

When you left school, where did you imagine you would be in ten years? A qualified surgeon maybe, or an astronaut, a movie star or a mum?

Regardless of what career ambitions you may or may not have dreamt for yourself, I’m sure you thought that ten years on you’d certainly be older, wiser and more mature. While I am older, I’m not so sure I am that much wiser or more mature than that 18 year old girl that was once called an ugly duckling. More jaded, yes. More experienced, certainly. But wiser?  

Looking back at the past is like looking the wrong way into a telescope. You can see a small version of yourself standing there, slightly distorted by time, blissfully unaware of the future that lies ahead – that future that you have already lived through.

“You will get your heart broken”, you want to warn yourself, “but you will survive.” Pastyou just stares unblinkingly through the telescope. “You will make some really dumb mistakes, but don’t worry, you will learn from them and they will shape who you are.” No reaction.

Undeterred, you press on: “You’re friends now will not all be there in the future, but you are going to meet some wonderful people in unlikely places who will enrich your life. Getting to know them will be a lot of fun.”

I can almost see my past self looking at me with a know-it-all expression, rolling their eyes at the perceived condescension in my words. “Shut up old fogie” Pastme retorts. “I’ve got it all figured out. You’re just jealous.”

In a way I do envy past me because of all those experiences I’d love to live over again. Oh the things I’d like to have the chance to do, the things I would change! Just think of the words you could take back, or the words you didn’t say that you should have. Hindsight can be cruel.

But then I’d also have to sit through exams again, have an awkward first kiss again, get my wisdom teeth taken out again, go through break ups again. No thanks!

What brought on this reminiscing was my ten year high school reunion that I attended on Friday. Ten years ago we graduated and were released from the all-girl prison we had been trapped in for 13 years. In my graduating class there weren’t any astronauts or movie stars, but there were a few mums to be. The reality is that no one has really changed that much over the past ten years.

Maybe the next ten will be different.